BOLLYWOOD AWARDS
With the new
awards announced every year, more and more stars are getting opportunities to be on the centre stage. If one bestows it on
Shahrukh other gives it away to Ritik and still another one announces Vivek, the star of the year. That’s not only confusing
but looks more like a method evolved to discredit these awards.
We at fun8home
decided to be a game at this discrediting venture of Bollywood and sponsoring companies to help them deteriorate the
scene further. We, in co-operation with the most scandalous personalities from both the world on our panel announced some
of the incredible awards.
BEST
ACTOR OF THE MILLENIUM
Tussar Kapoor
was the obvious choice for his disappearance act after Gayab. He stunned his producers,
directors, distributors and viewers with his non-performance. They wished him more and more Gayab in his career and to disappear from the Bollywood scene for ever as well.
MOST HARROWING
STAR OF THE MILLENIUM (MALE)
Baazigar of first order, scared he began his career with Daar in real
sense and could not stop himself despite everybody telling him Ruk ruk ruk. He never progressed beyond kkkkk… Kiran
and gave a harrowing experience to his contemporaries by winning one after other award. He is unstoppable, irrestible BADshah of Bollywood - Shah Ruk Khan.
MOVERS AND SHAKERS
OF THE MILLENIUM
Shammi copied
Elvis and shook upper half of his body. Jumping Jack Jeetu followed him by monkey jumping style of his own. Mithun was a cheap
copycat who entertained the front seaters. Gyrating his big bums with suggestive pelvic thrusts Govinda shook the nation with
his Dada Kondke style. He obviously deserves M& S Award of the milleneum.
SALESMAN
OF THE MILLENIUM
Originally a
sales man who by mistake ventured into movies. One successful movie shot during his foul mood after the failure of Saat Hindustani gave him the face of angry young man. It was the time
they refused to buy tickets for him at box office. One wrong step of his screenplay writers and directors and he was in the
league of greatest actors of the century. He learnt his ABC in acting well but failed when launched a million dollar business.
Under debt from industry, had to re-join his job as a salesman and is now selling from hair oils, soaps to everything on idiot
box to thousands of crazy young men world over. Darling of many broken hearts, salesman of the milleneum he is Mr Bachhan from Allahabad.
MOBILE
MAN OF THE MILLENIUM
What started
with simple `mobile’ number reached its pinnacle with Govinda going Delhi
as a Member of Parliament. A great dancer and comedian he moved from one heartthrob to another and achieved the status of
Mobile Man of the Milleneum when shifted from his house to Rani’s pad. Virar ka chhokra switched over from ordinary chawl, to flashy Mud house,
to an apartment in such swift motions that all his admirers including his wife and kids were shocked.
LENSMAN
OF THE MILLENIUM
Mid-day lensman
who shot that sensational pix of Kareena and Shahid when they were busy measuring depth of their buccal cavity. Shahid with
his long tongue was on an official assignment to gauge the depth of senior heroines to find out how many tongues they could
accommodate at a time. Kareena was on a scout hunt to find volunteers for her new venture ` For your lips only’. Together
they made an excellent pair helping lensman win this award.
EVERGREEN
STAR OF THE MILLENIUM
A staunch supporter
of green revolution. Evergreen hero of yester years who has proved beyond his age that every time he made a new movie he planted
a new face. On a spree to inject fresh life in the Indian film industry he gave flop after flop without giving up his optimism
for launching and re-launching himself as the youngest man in the industry. Nobody knows secret of his youthfulness for such
a long period and with his boring attitude nobody wants to know about him anymore. His enthusiasm and zest for life always
keeps him on the toe. He is our teenager forever…. our own evergreen Dev Saab.
KHANDAN
OF THE MILLENIUM
Salman Khan,
Aamir Khan, Shahrukh Khan, Feroze Khan, Sanjay Khan, Zyad Khan , Arbaaz Khan, Yusuf Khan and all other Khan Don the millennium.
BIRTHDAY BABY OF THE
MILLENIUM
The award has
been shared by the most of the newcomers in the industry who are ready to reveal more and more talent to carve a niche in
the celluloid world. They are ready to achieve their positions in the mind and bedrooms of their viewers. Spinsters they are
ready to do every act that pleases their lusty admirers. Maal lick aa Share what and Bipasha Basu top the list.
PUTTAR
OF THE MILLENIUM
Ritik who gave
complexes to his father and other star fathers when viewers cried for him – Koi
Mill Gaya. Nobody expected that this star son would go to a mill to earn his bread and butter instead of joining old Bollywood
business of his father. As if that was not enough, he married so early that others could not maaro line on him. They said it was not fair for a star puttar to join
the gang of those oldies who believed in baap, bibi, baby and family alone.
MA
OF THE MILLENIUM
Gone are the
days of Nirupa Roy, Leela Chitnis, Rakhi and Waheeda Rehman baby-sitting their heroes of yester years. Youngsters like Reema
Laagu and Kiron Kher are giving them tough competition. Latest to enter the fray are heMA and MAdhuri.
PA
OF THE MILLENIUM
Dharminder P®aji
BA
OF THE MILLENIUM
Who else but
the boring old lady in Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi.
