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Q. What should you
do if you come across an elephant in the middle of a jungle?
A. Wipe it off & tell him you're sorry!
***
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all
the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes
and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself,
"It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
***
A man and his wife were doing yard work outside. The wife
goes inside to take a shower. The husband was still outside and wanted to rake up the leaves on his front lawn, but he couldn't
find the damn rake. He yells to his wife, who looks out the upstairs bathroom window, "Where's the rake?" Unfortunately she
can't hear him. So he decides to point to his eye (meaning I), points to his knee (meaning need), and then makes raking motions.
She has no idea what he means and yells, "What?" So he goes through the whole routine again. She nods, this time, like she
understands what he's trying to say and, then, points to her eye, points to her left breast, points to her ass, and points
to her crotch. Her husband is totally confused (and somewhat aroused), so he goes into the house, runs up the stairs, and
leans his head around the corner. "What did you say?" he asks. She replies, "Eye, left tit, behind, the bush."
***
Q)What does a blonde and a Screen door have in common?
A) The more you bang, the
Looser it gets.
***
Q)Why are blondes like cornflakes?
A)Because they're simple easy, and taste
good. 
courtsey : funville.com
Q)Whats a blondes favorite Nursery Ryme
A)
Humpme Dumpme.
I just bought a new state-of-the-art Sony car stereo!
When you shout out
"Soul",
it plays soul music.
When you shout out "Rock", it plays rock music.
Some kids ran in front of my car this morning
and I shouted
"f**king kids" and it played Michael Jackson.
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